Hi, Friends! Today is National Coming Out Day! As I was reading all the insightful discussions and meaningful stories I saw today, I thought I would share mine. I came out to my family in 2015 and I always describe it as the best and worst day of my life so far. The best because I finally was able to live my truth and the worst because the reaction wasn’t what I wanted. A few days after I came out to my family, I wrote this letter to my younger self. It was such a healing experience and it definitely got me through a hard time. Fast forward 2 years and I have no regrets. Things are going well with my family and I continue to feel the love they have for me everyday.
I hope sharing this letter will help someone else going through a similar experience. Remember coming out is about coming out on your terms.
I am writing this to you from 2015. I am currently 23 years old, a college graduate, and working full-time. I want to tell you something important: you will be okay and things will get better.
I know you feel very sad that you can’t openly be yourself to the ones you love, but trust me when I say you CAN. You are being taught that what you need in life is a good job, a good house, children, and a partner to share it with. What no one ever told you is that you can have all these things and still be true to yourself.
Your mom and dad love you very much. All they want for you is to be happy. You are probably going through every possible scenario of what might happen in your head, which is why you don’t want to go through with it. Yes, they will have some disappointments, but that is something you cannot control or change without sacrificing a part of you. Everything that your parents want for you, you can still have (as long as YOU want it!).
Your big sis will support you no matter what. You know that. She has known this about you and probably before you even realized it yourself. She will teach you that you cannot babysit anyone else’s emotions but your own. Keep her close because her support is what gives you the courage to be open to your parents.
Your friends will also be another support system. Know who your real friends are. These are the people you can tell anything and everything to without fear or rejection. They will always have your back and be there to help you get through tough times. You will also find the courage to be yourself with their positivity and assurance. They will celebrate who you are no matter what.
You also have someone very special in your life that makes you feel wonderful and happy. He will teach you that being true to yourself is the only way to live a happy life. His love for you will inspire you to love openly.
Forgive the bullies and ignorant people you come across. Do not leave any hate in your heart for them. You are loved.
You may feel alone right now, but this is something that is very important for you to experience when you grow up. Being alone does not have to be a bad thing. It will teach you to be able to stand on your own and love yourself before you can love anyone else. Trust yourself because you can be your own support system if needed. However, be careful not to close yourself off to anyone. You are a joyful person—do not let your insecurities stop you from being your best self.
One day you’ll reflect on what you’ve been through and be proud of yourself. Until then, do not worry or stress yourself out. It will take time and patience, but you will finally be free.
Remember to love each other and be kind. Be the person your younger self needed.